Wednesday 8 September 2010

Danger he is going in!

I can't believe I'm actually out of the house - on the way to the hospital for a follow up appointment. I absolutley hate Princess Anne hospital! It's nothing but bad memories and pregnant chavs smoking their superkings outside the hospital entrance!

Still have lots of questions for my consultant and we are early for the appointment so Mr Harris and I sit and reminisce... for the past 6 years and 16 miscarriages down the line we have had quite an emotional journey and all shared with this hospital... and we start to laugh - which hurts! There was the time when I had to have an early pregnancy scan on the morning of my uncle's funeral so we park the car and for those that do not know the parking spaces are extremely tight at the hospital. I have the scan and they tell me that it looks unlikely that the pregnancy will not suceed - we leave in tears as we need to get to the funeral. Only to find that we can't get into the car either side due to the cars parked so close - Mr H has to climb through the back window of car - honda civic and him being him only opens the window and ends up with his feet stuck (they are a size 12). He eventually makes it but the shoes are wedge in the window whilst I'm crying from laughter and sadness at the same time.

There was also another time when we are asked to take the foetus to the hospital in a bag as they need to run tests. Steve thought it was best to lighten the situation by writing the date and name oin the bag which was all too much for the newly qualified young doctor especially as he had christianed this one as Mr Muscle. This one was 15 weeks old and had to stay in our fridge all weekend as there is no emergency cover for the weekends - all detailed on the bag!

We are now laughing hysterically in the car both looking at each other not knowing if we are crying from laughter or sadness but you know it doesn't matter because we are still smiling.

So as usual you are sat with all the mums to be in the central outpatients hub! Some are older mums to be, some are extremely young - you don't want to take away anyones happiness but this is just the worst place to be!

So in with the consultant and onto the bed - still legs shaved and wow look at my socks! He disappears - "oh" he mutters, "Ummm yes you still have a nasty infection" - he reappears - anoither course of antibiotics required. Mr H is now completely
lemon lipped and scarlett faced. Oh yes he explodes! This poor consultant! Still the information is now flowing freely and he explains that this should have been sorted a long while ago and that I should have had this particular antibiotic and that the GPs are equipped with the expertise etc etc. We leave and Mr H is standing very tall and ego boosted! I however am crumpled and in complete agony - not sure if the consultant has left his hard hat anywhere! Pharmacy and home to bed ..............

Sunday 5 September 2010

In the deep deep dark of the night!

I give up with the doctors and sure that it is medically better for you to self diagnose and heal as we know our bodies better than any 10 minute GP appointment - we have had to look after them long enough.

Went to the Docs on Friday to discuss starting HRT which I have to wait until next week when I've been to the hospital and also to ask when I can go back to work.

Well after sitting there for 45 minutes which believe me is so uncomfortable - so I spend the whole time getting up and down due to the discomfort - should have taken a cushion - poor old dear! My name is flashed in lights above the door and an american style voice announces "Mar - i - a Harris Doctor Good-I-Son room 7" - these GPs are far too superior to be getting out of their leather bound chairs to call patience don't you know!

So I'm in the DOCs room and the sweat is pouring from every pore in my face - attractive - he asks what can I do for you - not sure I exclaim you asked me to come in! This just gets me so bloody annoyed the notes are in front of him on the screen and he had asked me back - its just so impersonal - no duty of care or individuality!

So he takes a few minutes to check his notes - "Ummm blood count very low - keep up the iron...... whens your hospital appointment?" - "Monday" I reply - Doc advises " I will give you some HRT but I'm not really sure which one is best and you can't start it until well next week - and do you want patches or tablets ? Best speak to your consultant on Monday!"

What a waste of time and the effort of having to get dressed - why ask me back to see him why not just ask me to come back but see a GP with knowledge! A waste of his time too - it's not difficult - all about knowing that the right resources are allocated to the areas!

So armed with another prescription I'm back on the way home - Doctors and Hosiptal are the only places Ive really been out to in the last 6 weeks - it pays to research things prior the event so that you won't be disappointed that you are not sunning yourself in Barbados and feeling better than you've ever felt before! I feel more like Mrs Doubtfire!

Still hopefully get more info from the hospital on Monday - the aftercare from this op is absolutely appalling - no info which means you are led by other peoples experiences!

So my experience at post op 7 weeks is that you cant sit down for long as it feels like you are sitting on a fence post and lying down is the best option but of course this leads to you constantly having tangled hair on the back of your head and a wider butt than ever before and overdosing on Jeremy Kyle - that's if you are awake in time! Also you end up having to change your PJs a couple of times in the night due to overactive sweat glands which leaves you looking like you've been overdosing in a sauna - all so attractive so glad its at night so the landing light is now off at all times - lol! Still have made progress as my affair has moved between the bed and the sofa!

Tuesday 31 August 2010

Back on the right road

Apparently I'm now at week 3 stage even though its been 7 weeks if that makes sense. I'm actually starting to feel better - still as tired but the wings requirement is less frequent after a trip to the hospital.

I actually went out today for a little walk with Mr Harris as the weather was so nice - he reckoned it was like taking his mum out for the day! Cheek of it! It's amazing how things change so quickly - we walked passed a clothes shop and the last time I looked it was all swimming costumes and sun hats - now it's coats and woollie pullies!

I can tell I'm healing inside now as everything feels tight - you know when you cut yourself and it starts to dry out - well it's the same sort of thing. My sleep pattern is totally shot - still in bagpuss mode! Have an appointment on Friday to check up with the Docs and discuss further and hopefully now I'm healing I can start the HRT and then get back to work. I was talking to Steve the other night and said I didn't realise how poorly I'd been until I actually thought about work. This was the first time in many weeks which is very unlike me. In fact I had thought about nothing at all for weeks and it just shows how easily anyone can remove themselves from society and hide away!

Anyway the sooner I get back into life the better - I decided that I wanted to make a cake so Mr H got out the bowls and ingredients so all I had to do was mix and tell him when to get it out of the oven. So flour, butter, sugar in the bowl and he left a carrier bag on the side for me to put the egg shells in so no reaching etc. I cracked the eggs and started the electric mixer. Steve came over and asked what I was doing - errr dumb making a cake I replied but it's really dry for some reason. Steve was referring to the fact that I had cracked the eggs into the carrier bag and then put the shells in there too - you see it is just so easy to loose your train of thought so quickly when you haven't had to think about anything for some time!

Steve has been offered a 9 month consultancy in Bournemouth which is brilliant and Connor starts his new college on Friday - nice reality check!

Connor also passed his English which he had to retake which he is really chuffed with and celebrated by having his windows tinted on his little half car! When he takes his mates out in it they look like the "inbetweeners" which is really funny especially as they are all 6 feet tall and he only comes in at 5 feet 4!

So hopefully the worst has passed and we can all get back to noraml - what ever normal is!

Wednesday 25 August 2010

Only me!

Things just aren't getting any easier - still heavily invested in Bodyform so another trip to the Doctors - well another new face at the surgery and the receptionists all know my first name now! Have you ever noticed that they all have the same hairstyle and colour! They are all styled by M&S too!

New doctor and she is so young - think she is newly qualified as she seems so timid and uneasy with the arrival of Mr and Mrs H! Talk through with her that I am not feeling any better and still roller blading so she advises quietly that she needs me up on the bed for an examination! Easy - not - its so high and there is no step in sight - anyway after stripping off and a most indignant climb I'm in position!

She has drawn all the curtains around me and I can hear her rustling around talking herself through her checklist of implements required minus a head lamp of course.

You can tell she is nervous as she shakily tells me that she will be using a speculum which may be uncomfortable. She gets the swabs that she needs and as she is collecting up her tools of the trade I cough - how embrassing - the speculum is now at the end of the bed and she is completely out of her comfort zone and Mr H is hyperventilating! Only me!

She also tells me that I am not allowed to start HRT until the infection has cleared - I'm sure that is not true and she just wanted us out of her room!

She calls the hospital and they will call me direct to go back in so another course of different antibiotics and now waiting for a call from the hospital! She advises me that this is not normal as I would have been fine if I did not have the infection or granulation - again only me!

Well I upset Steve today - he didn't get his job - he has several other interviews lined up so fingers crossed! I told him that there would definately be a vacancy at MI6 - he told me that I should be shot for being so sick! I thought it was quite funny.

The hospital called and I have an appointment for this Friday - hopefully this could put me on the right road! I mean by now I should be worn out from recouperation shopping trips etc not waddling around the same four walls and a couple of trips to half of Asda!

However I am feeling better in myself despite (head in gear) all these little challenges!

Saturday 21 August 2010

Care in the Community

Have been very poorly the last few days - just for a change - doctor called and need to go see him on Tuesday as I have upped my shares in Rollerblading and the blood count has dropped extremely low which accounts for the affair with the kingsize snuggle! One minute I'm shivering and the next I am soaking from over heating!

Stevo had an interview in Petersfield yesterday and asked if I would go with him and that he would go the scenic route as I should get out of the house! I agreed - well this was strange having to get up, think about what to wear and make myself presentable all to a time scale!

The scenic route led to finding every pothole in Hampshire which felt like we were off roading - I spent 35 minutes holding my stomach, saying ouch and repeatedly asking are we there yet! This didn't actually help with his nerves either :)!

We made it to the town centre car park! Steve parked up and off he went to his interview leaving me in the car! Well I couldn't get out as he had parked so close to bike railings that my door wouldn't open - oh well I thought its raining anyway!

Thank goodness I didn't have to get out - there they were - cerise fluffy slippers on my size 6's. I started to chuckle thinking that just shows you how in a marriage you can just get too damn complacent! Steve had not even noticed and they are the brightest pink ever! My chuckling had been noticed by an old couple who gave me the "look at the nutter in the car" look and then the "Ah is such a shame she's not that old look!"

Still that took 20 minutes away. Down with the visor vanity mirror - it's so close - should have brought the tweezers! Thought I would check out the grey hair situation - what the hell - one eye naked! The other fully mascarered with a wonky eye liner! Oh dear I'm slightly out of practice! Now do I need to concentrate more and start writing checklists for normal daily tasks or do I need a carer!

Steve's interview went well and they have asked him back for a second - best leave him to do this one on his own!

I can't wait to start feeling better - today I haven't even got dressed and then ended up in so much pain from laughing at Steve slip up straight on his back on the wet decking - it was so funny and the marks left on his t-shirt look like tyre tracks - it was just so funny - he thought no-one was watching but I had just walked into the kitchen just in time to witness! He is now walking around like a bell ringer!

Connor is back from Alton Towers and the most you get out of him is "It was sick!" - welcome to the Harris household!

Wednesday 18 August 2010

Estivation!

So you were all thinking - she's gone on holiday whilst being off sick - well sorry to disappoint you all but I'm having an affair - with my new bed!

The most stressful part of my days since Friday has been what PJs to wear! I feel like bagpuss in a car accident, I look like Pauline Quirke and I smell like - well you've all watched life of grime! Still on the third and final set of anti-biotics and if no change then back into hospital for me! Apparently when you heal inside it all goes a bit granular, then crystalises and heals - well Ive over caramalised and am liquifying like a load of old toffee! I will find out beginning of next week if I need to go back in and be cauterized - that to me sounds like branding some old cow!

Will keep you posted!

Mr H has decided that since the Op I seem to have worn the trousers - I gentley reminded him that actually that is the only thing that hasn't changed!

Mum and Dad are back from Lyme for a fleeting visit to check that I haven't been resculpting the garden etc - Did you know that my Mum even irons pants! What is that all about - she irons MY pants now too - bet she has to put them over the end of the ironing board!

So they will rule our lives for the next few days until the weather changes again and they will be off back to Lyme Regis to further exhaust their national trust membership and free binoculars!

Had a visit from Ads and Gavin - which was great - they are absolutley hilarious together and Gavin hugged me too hard when he left which left me in agony!

I have decided that as my pre-conceived idea of have the op - 2 weeks to recover - 4 weeks shopping and socialising has completely been quashed that I would start up the campaign of "I hate Doctors Receptionists!" Who do they think they are - you call press the correct option for an appointment and then they say if you want a same day appointment it is classed as an emergency! But I'm not dying but need to see the doctor sooner rather than later and then they proceed to ask what's wrong - I mean have they had medical training??? Did they study for 6 years? Or the other annoying thing is you call press the relevant option the receptionist tells you to redial and select a different option and then you get the same bloody woman! And another thing they all have the same haircut!

Wow I feel much better already lol!


So basically I'm no further forward now than I was 5 weeks ago other than my hair is more grey and I'm sleeping like some hibernating bear!

Friday 13 August 2010

How to look good naked!

The more tablets and still no change. Have another appointment at the doctors beginning of next week as the "wings" side of this is not easing at all but I am feeling much better in myself and back in a position whereby I can be snappy at Mr Harris so this is what I call progress!

Reckon I have shares in the local pharmacy!

Yesterday had a great meals on wheels delivery from Clarebell - home made lasagne, garlic bread, salad with a splash of balsamic - was like a rendition of come dine with me - I give 9 points - lost 1 point as no pudding!! Had a real heart to heart with Clarebell - she just makes me smile and the future for her is bright which she sincerely deserves xxx

Still hot flushing on a regular basis and feeling tired but this is probably something to do with the fact that I've been doing nothing at all and it is a real effort to pause Jeremy Kyle if the phone rings or start shouting at the TV because what were ITV thinking about recruiting Eamon Holmes for This Morning - it's all going downhill especially as Loose Women are all on summer holiday - did they not know that I am sat at home completely bored out of my brains in between my regular bag puss moments!

Feeling well this morning I was up and dressed early as I wanted to support Steve as he went to employment office - well I lasted 20 minutes in there - not only could I not take the pain anymore but was getting extremely angry! As you walk in there are 3 staffed podiums and they are busy chatting - once they have finished chatting one of them directs you to the correct place. Stevo was direct across the room to a long queue - only one desk open but 7 other staff chatting! There were efficencies to be made here instantly! Steve was eventually seen and then had to be interviewed upstairs - entry to this was via 5 security guards who were quite happy to rip every person through their heavily guarded door - more efficiencies to be made. I was not allowed to accompany Steve so had to wait downstairs and by now had big regrets as I was in agony - I asked one of the welcoming committee if there was a chair available - "No" was the response - I explained why I needed to sit and he told me he couldn't help - I then went to the car and sat and waited - Upon reflection I smiled at how lucky I was - I have touch wood never experienced anything like it before and don't ever want to - mind you have of them signing on were in their designer trainers and playing on their iphones and yet no questions were asked - what sort of society do we live in!

Well after the over exertion straight home and to bed - the new bed - not quite sure if its the bed for us but at least I can quite easily roll out rather than climb out! And what a treat today I decided to let my legs get some well deserved fresh air and stripped them naked of the glorious stockings for the whole afternoon - I could almost hear them sigh!

Wednesday 11 August 2010

Bedtime

Well I have been bed ridden for pretty much the last 2 days. Think a walk round Asda was all too much.

The problem I faced that long term bed rest would mean foam suffocation from the memory foam - why why would I want to be reminded of my body shape. This is becoming a real hang up for me - its fine once you are in but trying to get out is now like climbing sugarloaf mountain!

Yesterday was the worst day ever - the pain was unbearable and my hormones - well I have never cried so much in my life - I was like a water feature with no timer! For no reason at all I could not stop but my god what a difference this morning.

Although still in pain I was feeling so refreshed that I even got up and dried my hair and put on some make up which looked great with my new PJs! My hair has started to fall out so I thought I might make a weave for my work husband! Not anything like poor Gail Porter but eniugh to block the shower plug each morning and evening - all part of the process apparently!

Blood count is very low again which is why I am feeling tired but guess what I don't care because the new bed has arrived today - of course my mum and dad arrived to give Steve a hand to move all the beds around which I was pleased about as Steve was trying to bring the dread sugarloaf mattress down the stairs which resembled the home insurance advert by knocking everything off the walls and tables in his way!

Its so high that I need a stool to get in it! But hopefully the trauma is over!

I did cry today but only because I was watching Jeremy Clarkson in the Robin Reliant - I was thought I was gonna burst open as I was laughing so much! And if that wasn't enough I went out into the kitchen and in the garden was Stevo walking Gizmo around on a red lead! It was hilarious......Gizmo is one of our 2 spoilt cats. He does a runner on a regular basis so Stevo thought it best to stick him on a cat harness until he is familiar with the garden .... he will probably taking him to the park for a run tomorrow. xxxx

Monday 9 August 2010

Shower time

I'm back - have moved and internet was ready the next day but have been really poorly all weekend - have done a bit of pottering in the new house but no lifting and then suddenly have gone beyond the rollerblading and now parascending... ooooh bodyform!

Feels like someone has stabbed me with a red hot poker and put me back to bed! I bloody hate that bed - still two more sleeps before the new one arrives and it has a 28 day comfort period so we can order a different one if not suitable - problem is they don't make beds for lard arses which stops us rolling into the middle!

So other than being unwell what else has been happening ..... well we have moved and the house is great and I laughed so much on the first night that I started to then cry as it hurt so much. In the en suite is a spa shower refered to as the jet wash! Its really poorly designed as the doors slide open in the middle where you enter the shower but you have to be quick otherwise the jets spray out onto the floor! So Mr Harris jumps in in a state of "I can take anymore stress" and the water is freezing cold and he is screaming like a girl ... I start laughing and then the shower goes of and only the jets are working which are freezing cold and refreshing the parts that no other shower will reach! After another few minutes the pump kicks in and the hot water flows. By now the screaming has stopped and I'm crying with pain! Still it was worth it.

Connors auditioned for Sky One got to dance so he will find out in Septemebr if he has been successful! Fingers crossed... he is excited that next door lives a family with a daughter his age and all of her mates often stay .. he has even stayed in!

I have been to Asda with Mum and Dad which was funny because I only made it to the end of the chilled aisles before I'd had enough and then when I sat of a seat waiting for mum and dad I realised that I blended! By this I mean that everyone shopping mid morning were either in their late seventies plus or adorned with walking sticks or limps - the white stockings had found their place!

Steve is still jobless - has applied for over 40 jobs in the last 2 weeks so fingers crossed... he did call the benefit office and he is entitled to £10 a week but has to have 2 interviews with employment staff first which would actually cost more then the tenner to park .... how do people manage all these hundreds of pounds per week? That won't even cover the water he used in the spa shower lol!

Tuesday 3 August 2010

Strong prevailing winds due heading South

Lesson learnt Mums are like customers - always right! After rolling around the memory foam mountain in the night in complete agony on one side, I finally was blown out of bed this morning - by blown I mean blown if you get my drift! After several outbursts of the morning trumpets the pain had subsided! Thank goodness - I can't believe that something invisible can cause so much pain! Still I am only human and lady or not when we are babies our parents congratulate us and clap when bodily gas is released - so I thought I should share the good news with mum and dad by way of an early morning call - at 43 years old they are still congratulating me ! My mum was so chuffed you'd think I'd been promoted or passed an exam!

I have had the best day so far - yeah - Kirsty arrived this morning with home made cup cakes - had a good old girlie gossip and by the time she left I was hurting because we laughed so much especially about some peoples mind sets and some people are oblivious to the impact of their own actions or lack of -- us girls can be such bitches with minimum effort lol!

Stevo is still packing and other than meals on wheels from my mum living on a sandwich for breakfast, lunch and dinner! This is one because he can't cook, two because after feeling ill with his omelette attempt I've begged him not too and three because he has packed the kitchen up barr 3 forks, 1 knife and 3 dinner plates!

After Kirsty left I went to bed as I felt so knackered probably exhausted from all the laughter - its been a while!

Stevo woke me at 5.30 by digging his nails stroking my face saying Doris you won't sleep tonight! I could have just stayed there but Kella was due any moment. All this girlie chat is exhausting, lol, but great therapy!

Kella arrived in her normal happy self and passed me some envelopes - 1 with cash as I had won the baby weight sweepstake for my work husbands baby weight and our Mr Easts baby - 15lb 2 oz I think I guessed which was quite funny because after I entered Stubert asked if I wanted insider info as they had a midwife visit with a predicted weight - I choose not which made me laugh as if I did I would have lost!!! Still congrats to Alex and Stu xxx

Another envelope had a get well card from Faye and Veronica one of our suppliers and top girls! And then I cried - the last envelope made me cry and was so unexpected - a get well card signed by everyone at work and inside a £75 voucher for John Lewis - with a Clarins price list - OMG I just can't believe peoples generosity - I had already had the most beautiful flowers and now this ..... was it gratitude donations as they were all enjoying and garetful for the peace and quiet!! LOL I'm feeling very touched by such a kind gesture! Although 1 complaint when Im at work I put kisses against all the signatures in cards and there are only a couple of kisses against names and no rude messages! lol- I can use these for a full body wrap although I may need to do this in two installments!

Well after Kella and I gased for 3 hours I was completely and utterly knackered and
a good knackered - feeling very happy and special (a bit more than special needs now!)Thank you all xxxxxx

Im so tired now that Im shivering so Im off now - thank you soooo much xxxx may the wind be with you :) x

Monday 2 August 2010

All systems go!

Feeling a bit better today - lots of pain done one side - of course my Mum has already diagnosed trapped wind and as still roller blading it is urgent that I get back to the Doctors!

Felt quite smiley today which rubbed off on Steve and Connor.

Day started with the early morning call from my Mum calling for a prgress report and to test her new house phones as Steve had input the numbers on the phone directory which my Dad remembers by saying press "Facebook" then scroll down then green button!

Decided I would brave Sainsburys by foot with assistance from Steve and Connor, accompanied by Mum which was requested by Dad so that he could have an hour on his own I'm sure!

By the time I reached the bread aisle I was knackered and had had enough. Stevo was concerned as apparently I was paler than a white loaf and Connor remarked how he couldn't believe I was out in "those" stockings as I looked like a window licker MUM! Such as thoughtful and considerate young man we have raised! Still for those of you that know Steve we have no choice but to make it to the very last aisle of the supermarket to get to the Cat food and then ponder of the choice as he always offers our cats full a la carte range!

Still we make it home and with a full dozen unbroken eggs which is a first for Steve but probably because my mum was supervising the boot loading!

Steve has a second interview next week for a job so thats good news. I reckon we are the only family that in the space of 2 weeks could be looking for a job, selling a car, buy a car, have an operation and moving house between the three of us - still never a dull moment!

Steve has packed the whole house so much that we had to buy new toiletries as he has packed them all and not sure in what box!

He is currently led on the floor with his head on the coffee table and is absolutely soundo!

The pain this week is different than last week or it may be that I have already been at home too long! It feels as though I have been kicked around although it could be the strain of rolling out of the memory bed which goes very soon thank god! The bruising has almost gone and just been replaced by yellow skin which looks like I have a jaundice tummy only! But feeling brighter in myself - must be feeling better as I snapped back at Stevo today - he has been so used to me being nice to him for 2 weeks he was quite taken back and said "you must be getting better!" LOL xx

Sunday 1 August 2010

Mixed emotions

It's been a few days since last blog but feeling pretty awful due to the infection - still in roller blading mode!

Have also restarted my teenage years and ready to do dot to dot on my face! Wish I felt that young!

Still taking the tablets and wearing the stockings so look about 80 years old as I have decided that I should not dye my hair all the time I'm off work as I want to see what my natural colour is or whether it is completely grey! Have already noticed my cruella streak in the fringe with an attitude to match at the moment.

Have done absolutely nothing at all for a few days as feeling very miserable but probably as I have been unwell!

Something that did make me laugh was my Dad sat in the back of our car with me in that passenger seat and I can't find my seatbelt - I ask him to pass it to me and he realises that he has put it on! He had taken it and pulled it to his side and locked it in - not only did it only just reach it offered no prtection, looked odd and he didn't even realise! I cracked up which then left me in agony from laughing so hard.

I'm also finding that my body clock is completely shot! Im up late, afternoon nap and then bed late - this must be the benefits clock!

Been off work for only 2 weeks but it feels like a lifetime .... can't wait to go back and get back to normality.

I keep trying to do small things but feel so weak - what a wimp! Also it's not worth the lecture and hassle that I get from my Mum - Stevo calls her everytime he finds me doing something and then she gives me a verbal going over! It's worse than when I was a teenager at home - never expected it at 43 years old!

Still the stockings have had an amazing affect on my legs! They are all skinny but only the bottom half has they are knee highs - lol! Have decided I might commission a body suit which would help remould me but need it to be smooth rather than giving the groove effect!

Lookking forward to moving next week although I think my Mum is more as she will be totally in charge!!!!!!! Speak soon xxx

Thursday 29 July 2010

Ready to rattle

Well just when I thought it was all going swimmingly well the Doctor tells me that bleeding is abnormal and I shouldn't be getting the sweats yet and after an examiniation she advises me that I have an infection! She tells me that I need to go straight back into hospital if it becomes worse - I've already been like this for 3 days!

It just amazes me if the hospital took the time to tell you what could happen etc you would be prepared - I thought this is all part of the recovery process! Another 2 prescriptions to collect which now makes a grand total of 7 tablets 4 times a day! It's a shame that they all say will make you drowsy as my days are resembling that from a bagpuss sketch rather than an 18-30's holiday!

It's funny how the stockings are still drawing attention from the OAPs in the surgery - you can see the old dears nudging awake their husbands pointing and syaing wonder what's wrong with her!

Stevo is still packing for the move in a week and my Mum is still completely in charge telling me she was on route to change our bed sheets! She just bloody loves it!

Had a call from Veet re the Bush Fire yesterday advising that they would like to offer £30 goodwill gesture for the Bush fire that needed at least 6 fire engines and squads! Well I was so insulted - contacted the board of Directors and received 2 phone calls from the directors in person apologising how the case had been handled and that they were looking into the case further - and apologising again! Amazing what threatening to contact the tabloids with pictures of my halfpenny will do! Never knew it was that popular!

Connor has been working at a local secure unit with kids his own age - he has really enjoyed it this week working with his mate Lukey but he is knacked - welcome to the real world! Bless him not quite 1 week of graft and it's all too much!

Wednesday 28 July 2010

More roller blading to be done!

Well yesterday was non-eventful as I felt so so tired. After waking at 9.30 am and rolling out of the memory foam and really needing a dyson all overbody dryer I felt like an old woman.

For some reason every time I coughed or moved I had a pull on my belly button but from the inside - I felt like one of those pop up poppets but not quite being able to make the full blown push up appearance!

Anyway made my way to the sofa and spoke with my little brother and we were laughing about the cracker lunch yesterday - by the time I put the phone down I was in agony! but it was worth it as it was good to chuckle so much as we referred to yesterday as one flew over the cuckoos nest - lol !

Had a visit from mum and dad and they told me they had been to see my little brother as they were going on holiday adn my nephew had packed his case - all his books, frisbee and 1 pair of pants - bless him he is only 7.

Anyway slept on the sofa from lunchtime to early evening .... feeling very groggy - they don't tell you all of this in hospital - in fact they don't actually tell you anything what to expect etc. Steve had taken a call from the Docs in the afternoon advising that my blood count is still very low so I have to go and see them on Wednesday! That will probably account for the tiredness. Then get the lecture from my mum re eating liver and spinach and my Dad arrives with a present.

At this point I fall over - my dad, for those that don't know him, never just buys presents - in fact he doesn't even believe in buying cards for celebrations but he has bought me a present - OMG. Trying to get out of the sofa in quickly in excitment was quite a scene - waddle into the kitchen where he presents me with my gift....... a bottle of lactulose! Steve and I are rolling around on the floor now - "Great stuff" my dad exclaims "Helps soften your poo" - WTF! As per previous blogs I wasn't having a problem so why he thought I needed it I have no idea - "Thanks Dad you're the greatest" - I do worry about my parents thought process sometimes but they do absolutely crack me up - I thought I was in for a new bracelet or earrings but no I get poo softener solution!

Feeling rough again last night I suddenly need a bodyform which is why I was probably feeling so uncomfortable - feeling disappointed now as Steve and I, before the op, had a celebration in the sanitory towel aisle in Sainsburys by jumping up and down shouting hooray no more roller blading this will be the last packet!

Monday 26 July 2010

Not so sure about retirement

Well feeling a bit better today but Stevo away so he had handed my well being to my mum as Connor has work all day!

I thought it would be relaxing - how wrong was I! The phone rings - Babe be there at 10.30 to pick you up - I'm fine on my own I protest - Nope you can spend the day with Dad and I - no choice at 43 years old!

Lecture 1 at 10:30:02 - you should not be putting your stockings on by yourself
Lecture 2 at 10:30:10 - who put the washing on
Lecture 3 at 10:30:20 - who made the bed

and so on...... it was gonna be a long day!

Feeling much lighter than yesterday (lol) but still suffering from the most horrendous flushes not hot just bloody sweaty good job I'm no lady!

So after a visit to 2 different banks and to the VW garage (they are after a new car) and my Dad braking when the car in front is 2 inches away or brushing mirrors = I am ready to pass out! You must take it easy my mum keeps saying - I reply that Im trying to but she doesnt get it!


Dripping and dying of hunger we arrive at theirs. Sit on the patio I'm ordered and we will bring out lunch - thank god I sink into the chair!

Swiftly lunch arrives - remember my sugar levels are low - 4 cream crackers and a triangle of dairylea - I'm trying my hardest not to choke and laugh - "There love you must be starving!" Mum exclaims!

I listen to Dad belching after his cucumber and lunch is done.

I spend the afternoon on their sofa whilst they prepare dinner. I love them to bits but its made think how lucky I am to have youth and work on my side at the moment cos I think I would starve on 4 crackers a day xxxxxxxx

The unexpected

Well this blog covers my weekend.... have to write it now as felt so ill couldn't put it into to words!

I'll keep it short -- loss of dignity (if I had any left!) Felt very weak and the hot sweats had kicked in so ended up waddling around resembling a heavy soaked sponge!

The only comfy position was to lay on my back - which is unusal for me LOL! In absolute agony the pain through my abdomin was too much too bear. It seemed that I had gone from not feeling too bad to pain that like I had never experienced before.

And then in a few seconds it was all over ........ the thunderous rumbles had stopped and the volcano had erupted!!! Oh dear oh dear oh dear! Should have joined weight watchers just before! Thank god for Anti bacterial spray!

Friday 23 July 2010

Happy anniversary

Well after not a bad nights sleep I needed Mr H to crane me from the memory mattress as I felt as though I had been trampled on by a herd of bison! A warm shower was the first order of the day followed by absolutely nothing!

Stevo had the great honour of peeling the delightful stockings - this was the closest he was getting to foreplay for a very long time! But I suddenly resembled a womble ! The legs need gillette attention! An easy task!

How wrong could I be! One I can't bend over - two my legs are too short for my body so after very much of a struggle I have now created the latest craze - first we had the brazilian, then the hollywood now the crop circles which kinda resemble those trendy patterned tights - thing is they are not as symmetrical!

Oh well onwards and upwards!

Had a lovely visit from the ex in-laws who arrived with flowers and a KFC! Heaven!

Other than that a lazy afternoon on the sofa with medication whilst watching Mr H pack more boxes ready for the move in 2 weeks!

By the way the bruises are now turning black yellow and it kinda feels like Im carrying a hod of house bricks around!

Happy 1 week old Anniversary Hysterectomy (AKA Hector)xxx

Thursday 22 July 2010

How to get noticed

Had to go back to hospital this morning for a blood test - paranoia completely sets in wearing my white stockings in public!

Waddling along the hospital entrance resembled hyde park on a sunday afternoon with families picnicing and gathering around the smoking pods - surely they have better things to do with their kids! In turn a mexican wave of admirers from the families watch my obviously eye catching waddle by as Stevo drags me past calling me Doris!

In my head it seemed that an archway was now forming to make way for me in the hospital corridors! Think I may have taken the wrong tablets this morning!

Take the deli counter ticket and sit at the front of the room and again keep catching everyones eyes checking out the white stockings - its hilarious but how people just stare had fun with it though when my number clicked over on the machine and I shouted yep Ive won - they all looked away :)

Back home and feeling surprisingly well other than I do actually look 6 months pregnant!Have remembered that the consultant said that in a few days you will feel as though you have swallowed a methane cannister - ah strike a light or maybe not!

Anyway we have to talk about these things as it is only natural after all!

Had a quick chat with my work husband today just to check the "how close to labour are we" situation which made me smile.

Had a delivery of beautiful flowers from the office today which brightened both Stevo and Connors day as the delivery girl was equally as beautiful! And a visit from Clarebell who just leaves me in total amazement of how brave she is and how I admire her strength xxxx Feeling very content apart from having to listen to Connors music all night as he is making a mix for Sky One comp xxx Nite nite god bless!

What a night

So it was going all so well so into to bed I go ....... within 15 minutes Stevo wakes asking if I can hear the thunder? Its my stomach I reply. OMG are you ok and he starts to count 1 1000 2 1000 3 1000 4 1000 ... here we go ...... well not only to I need to be into the bathroom now but I have to climb the hill descent of my body over the memory foam hill just to get out of the bed.

In Mr Harris' tired state he assists by pushing from behind with his feet! Im out - scurrying to the bathroom....... must be at least a 4.5 on the rictor scale! I made it! Slightly clammy by now but relieved!

Back to bed - ahhhhhh - 1 1000 2 1000 3 1000 - no assitance from Mr Harris who now resembles a salivating bulldog! Rock- roll - push - rock - scurry and Im back. This continues until 3.30 am by this time I actually have decided that I blame Mr Harris entirely as tonight was his first attempt at omelette making ... and his last.

So completely out of salts I decide to sleep on the very edge of the bed where the surface is more tolerant of my body weight.........

Wednesday 21 July 2010

Starving

Well Day 7 - Mr Harris cooked tea last night which ws great but left us with not a scrap of food in the fridge or cupboards!

I sat in the garden this morning and decided that I needed some form of pain killer! Made appointment with the docs for this pm.

I call Mrs G my bestest friend and ask her if she would come food shopping to Sainsburys with Steve and I - she could push me in a chair or the trolley - she opted for me.

So after falling out of the car into the chair we enter the store being greeted by highly stacked half price strawberries - I point at them and say in a deep voice "I want that one" - well Lou and Andy Little Britain sketch done - why did I wear those leggings! We are in stitches and the whole store has come to a standstill. Im juddering in silence holding my stomach and Yvonne is screaming behind with her legs crossed - these old pensioner day shoppers are looking on wondering why the benfit squad are out at mid day! What a gem of a moment.

Lard arse and memory foam

So being at home will be grand I thought - later in the evening the phone rings and its the ward doctor from Princess Anne. "Mrs Harris?" "Yes" "Hi its Dr xxxx you're at home?" I congratulate him on his observation and remind him thats why he got to be a doctor!

He said you need to come back in as we havent discharged you. I advise him that I have a discharge letter and that my consultant's words were "Get the hell outta here!" - he gasps and advises that I must go staright back in if I feel the slightest bit unwell or notice any changes.

We wish each other a good evening. I laugh xxx

OMG in front of the mirror I catch a glimpse of my tummy - its black and I mean black from one side to the other !

Into bed I go - well even on a good night this bloody bed - half sprung and half memory foam - if your thin then fine - if you're a lard arse not a chance - its alright getting in but once your body shape is formed its like climbing a bloody mountain! just to get out - for all you lard arses out there try it with no stomach muscles, one shoulder and busting for a wee! I did this journey 3 times during the night ! complete hell and may need to sllep on top of the duvet to try and stop the sinking down so much!

I might sleep on the sofa tomorrow night! as this morning which is day 6 of the op I feel like I have been run over by a steam train!

Home coming....

Up, bread, tea (more scaled than before) and not butter as new room mate has this !, shower, packed, consultant visit, get yourself off and my Dad says over the phone love you.

What more could a girl ask for ! Its funny - havent really thought much about the op has the shoulder pain has taken all the glory but today I feel a bit tender and sore in the tummy and think to myself that this would have been a doddle if it was keyhole!

Dad arrives with mum and after they fuss and the consultant says get out of here Im home!

Wow - done and dusted! Greeted by Mr Harris at the door and celebrate with a crust roll picnic in the garden with Mum and Dad xxx Things are on the up!

Call Veet for a chase up on the bush fire case and they are just concluding the case and will be in touch soon - Im home xxxxx

Feeling groovy

Well all bloods done - been a calm and somewhat emotional day. I even had to stop my self from half skipping to the loo with my blood drip machine earlier - found I was swivelling it in the corridor and a nurse asked if I was ok and I asked if she was talking to me or my skinny friend - of course was slapping my thigh and she was scratching her head - not a lot of people get me really! LOL x

I feel amazing - the nurse tells me that they have pulled my shoulder during the op and that they would give me pain killers, the consultant tells me I can go home tomorrow and I feel fan bloody tastic xxxx result!

The dressings are off the scars and Im on the home run tomorrow - whoop whoop xxxxx I cant wait for a chinese - by the way - I dont even want a cigarette xxxx

Wow factor to reality

First blood pack arrives at 6am ... Im told its gonna take 8 hours running at an hour a pack or so but they want me to have a scan in between to check out for internal bleeding and my shoulder for gas.

Drip drip drip - pack 1 - completed - wow I feel really good. Pack 2 - omg I feel amazing - never really thought about the effects of new blood and what a difference it could make but my god this was amazing - any heavy black clouds hanging over me had dispersed and I was ready to start moonwalking in the corrridors. Pack 3 - porter arrives to wheel me down to level e for a scan. They rush the blood through on a timer unit so they treble the speed and its done. In the chair Im wheeled backswards in the wheelchair by the porter who just grunts. It must be a low rider styley as I feel very close to the floor aand Im starting to feel sick as he his swinging me around corners and all I can see peoples knees down. Straight in the scan room and told to climb onto the bed which is fixed and feels like climbing a mountain. Im now stuck on all fours facing the wrong way and should be on my back. Im giggling so much I cant move and the scan lady is not impressed as Im her first appointment on this monday morning.

So once Ive stopped giggling I restart the motions and end up the right way around and on my back. Scan tummy - scan shoulder. LAdy asks me to get back in wheelchair - Im now flapping around on this bed like a fish out of water - can push up due to the shoulder pain and can roll as no feeling in my tummy and gigling as 3 units of blood must be the equivalent of 3 months supply of red bull in one hit.

After a lot of tutting Im back in the chair and left out in the corridor. I look at miyslef and not only have I get bed hair but I have PJs on which consists of vest stop without boob support so they are resting on my knees and knee length bottoms - hairy knees and white knee highs - again this strikes me as rather funny which I tried to kerb when the receptionist catches my eye and decides Im obviously a community case! Then reality hits me. Im sat alone in the waiting area which is mainly populated by heavily pregnant couples waiting for third trimester scans - they are all so lucky and I am genuinely happy for them and I have silent tears now streaming dripping and rolling over my cheeks. It was one of those moments when I really needed Stevo but heard him saying - Doris come on are lucky we have each other - I smile and try to compse myself the best I could as I rearrange my somewhat shabby attire! He is soooooo right xxxxx

Friends and family....

The evening vsiitors arrive which consists of Steve, Connor, Mum, Dad, Yvonne and Glen. It was good to see them all and I had more sweeties and magazines - now have more than the Co-Op

Cant really remember much about the evening but was feeling pleased that I now had the room to myself as I could then snore to my hearts content without having to wake up to apologise to my room sharer for the noise or coughing to cover the noise. Feeling very very comfortable barr this bloody shoulder which was restricting me from moving but taking away the fact that I had been cut right across the front of my tummy.

Nurse arrives with midnight drugs and another jab ..... sleeeeeeep. Wake an hour later need a wee. Shoulder stuck cant get out of bed - pee the bed! Grand - start to laugh and giggle and for the first time the tummy has realised its had an operation - talk about drama!

So after shower, clean clothes, sheets and more drugs the nurses decide that my shoulder is trapped gas from the hope and Im downing boiling hot peppermint squash by the gallon - I can now belch and fart as well as snore - lifes getting back to normal! Shoulder massge and sleeep.......... 3.30am xxxxx

Feeling sleepy on a Sunday afternoon..

The sun was beaming in through the wide room windows and Im in bed feeling warm, comfortable and refreshed and for the first time in a very long time relaxed. I seem to be drifting in and out of sleep.

I can hear the nirses talking about a colleagues recent wedding which had been talked about for several hours as they had a shortage of patients - only about 3 of use in the total wing. But hey I felt fine they were catching up with each other and it gave me time to relax with no obs constantly which yes they are necessary but so disruptive when you are trying to rest.

Jen and Kella arrive which is was completely unexpected and a lovely surprise. We sit and chat, soak up the rays = the only thing missing was a bottle of vino.

They leave and I'm feeling so tired and just snooze and snooze only waking myself intermittently by the loud roar of nostril thunder! A doctor arrives to ask how Im feeling. Great but tired I explain at which point I snooze again. Then she asks if she can do a blood test just to check all ok - off she goes and shes back 15 minutes later with another nurse and a blood reader. Maria your blood count is far too low we need to do a blood tranfusion. By now I feel like I have been smoking weed all afternoon which was all rather pleasant and she explains that this was not normal as I had been in and out of conscientiousness! She tells me they will order the blood and start in the early hours of the morning when they have more senior doctor cover available. You know thats fine I exclaim and snooze, feeling relaxed and weightless - sheer heaven

Survival of the fittest ....

The food - well food - where do I start - we all have nightmare stories about hospital food but surely in 2010 they must now have it pretty much sorted! After all they now have a glossy menu - kinda a la carte - steamplicity! Sounds healthy - good choices - 3 courses and twice a day! Have already established that breakfast is bread or cereal. The lunch and dinner menu looks rather trendy in comparison!

I tried the plain omelette with peas and sliced potatoes! It gave flight food michelin stars!

The beef stew and dumpling was so over microwaved that the gravy came up in one fork swoop as a slice and the corned beef sandwich was so dry that I thought it had been toasted!

The best thing on the menu .... Jelly! Pure heaven.

Good job for my Dads cheese and salad cream baguettes xxxxxx

One armpit to go......

after being up most of the night scuffling backwards and forwards to the loo and having 4 hourly obs done I'm knackered - still not a great deal of resting being done. The polish nurse is on again - she is wamr and friendly and works so hard - she covers the work of 4 english nurses who seem to trial behind her tutting as each task they attempt she has already completed! Food for thought as she has the 3 C's- content, caring and competent!

In between all the pain I haven't really given much thought to how I was doing or feeling so just plough on but still having problems with the shoulder. Its exactly the same pain that I suffered earlier in the year when Stevo decided to do his obligatory dutch oven which has left me with no feeling in the tips of 3 of my fingers on my right hand! Not to self - his is 9 years my junior!

Feeling grubby ask for a shower expecting to be chaperoned and pampered - sure its next to the loo - help yourself! Let me take off your stockings - that was one of the best offers I'd had in a while!

So standing in the leaking half shower is sheer heaven - 5 minutes of warmth and feeling slightly more comfortable. No arm level shelf for toiletries so all on the floor which was quite a struggle to get to the shower gel and back up again. Feeling quite cokcy I have now shaved one armpit and ready to move to the next and drop! One razor on the shower tray floor. Hey no problem - I can do this - like hell can ! I try the pick up with your toes trick but too much is now in the way with the swelling if you get me ! So I try and flick it in the air with my toes and catch - no chance not high enough! Try again - still not high enough - could I really justify buzzing a nurse dragging her away from her duties for 1 hairy armpit - nope. Out the shower which was a lower level - bend and success ! Back in the shower - shaved and ready to face the world. Now donning the new pjs xxx

The first visit

Visiting... Steve, Connor and my parents. Love them all so much. I'm sat in my bestest nightie and in the bedside chair which is all remote control and good fun if feeling able bodied!

Lots of kisses and cuddles which is warm - then lots of questions of how it all went which I cant answer as I was only in position to say hello a few hours earlier.

You look well my mum states - I did although feeling as though I had been hit by a car and my bloody shoulder taking my breath away I suppose I did considering the size of the op. Steve runs through filling in the gaps from the night before and I get the "mother" lecture of how I am to do nothing not even lift a kettle when I get home. Steve unpacks the statutory grapes and book and visiting is over!

Alone again listening to every second ticking on the wall clock. Visiting what a strange thing - your loved ones arrive you talk about shit and then they leave ... until the next allocated time which happens to be 7pm onwards. Cant really remember who visited that evening but can remeber the shoulder pain.....

The measure of success

After several confused phone calls from\to Steve the arrival of Dr Henney - hey you look at you you should be up - is everything ok I ask. Yes all taken nothing left all little and often and you be home soon. Great I smiled. My shoulder I point - she shrugs it off that it could be gas from the op and will go.

So see you Monday to get you home and see you in 6 weeks for HRT. Any questions nope great - big entrance and big exit! I'm still trying to catch up to say Hello but hey its alldone and thats that - onwards and upwards.

Take a breath in for me the nurse asks from the bottom of the bed ... yank - great catheters out! Yikes out I cant even get out of the bed or keep up with a conversation let alone find and make the loo.

Another nurse appears as I have buzzed to say that I need the loo but cant move because of my shoulder. After lots of heavy breathing and leg flying I'm up and on route to the loo. Ive made it ! I'm left there on the loo door open and pondering my thoughts which were..... bye bye bodyform!

The morning after the night before....

A slight breeze was penetrating through the slightly open window and the sun was beaming through the wide ward window. A smiley malaysian woman had taken residence in the other ward bed. I smiled back.

Im so hot I told her trying to work out what day of the week it was and what time of day it was. A nurse appeared and smiled good morning. I could feel something wrapped around my right ankle but couldnt move. The nurse checked and it was my catheter line. Wow what a weird feeling not knowing if you are peeing or not and if you were knowing that it was taken care of anyway.

Check - the stockings were still on! Check - the shoulder was agony! Check the stomach - swollen and numb - was this success?

Black baseball hat clad woman appears - would you like breakfast - we have bread or cereal? I mutter toast please - sorry only bread we dont toast - ok bread it is then.

The bread arrives with a jam portion and scaled cup of tea only slightly out of reach!

The polish nurse arrives with a pretty smile.

Ok lets get you up and washed! Yikes up what the hell - I thought it was all rest! So have a sit in the chair wash with 1 working arm, white stockings still on but she admires my new tattoo and takes cares to wash it and cream it - sod the hysterectomy scar - but then has it happened noone has said a word about it? Perhaps it didnt happen? Back to bed and completely bewildered, in pain and confused.... sleep.

Feeling hot

I'm so hot... please Im so hot.... she needs a fan get her a fan. That was all I can remember about my Friday night. I remember Steve and Connor shouting we love you see you soon - love you too but nothing much else - could hear lots but not remember seeing anything but remebering how hot I was... OMG the hot flushes must be instant.

Later in the dark of the night on the ward I woke to the most awful pain in my shoulder and trying to work out where I was, what had happened and can I remember ever feeling so hot.

Then the sound of the buzzer and a kind face appeared saying are you ok. No I complained I am so hot and my shoulder I cant move it. She disappeared and reappeared with a syringe of sticky goo which was shot into my mouth. There you go now rest. Where was I? Who was I? What had happened - she rubbed my arm - just rest xxxxx

You fall in love with the last person you see ..

that's what my director said to me -ally thought I never really thought those words much at the time but they actually made me sleep with a smile on face and I was thinking oh well if only he knew so I thought I would share!

Mr Navy blue hat can't find a vein so Miss Bubbly hat is hanging on my left arm and squeezing tightly saying to me so how long have you worked at Carnival? Carnival asks an older manin a plan blue hat my daughter works there. He is now hanging on to my other arm and pulling backwards apologising. Both arms are now being tapped and both blue hat men are asking each other if any sign of veins. Then comes the dramatic entrance from the glamourous tall Bitch! Black hat with bright pink the bitch scribed all over the hat - I will win she proclaims its mine .... so I fell in love with the Bitch as I smiled because that was the last thought I had.

Waiting over

So the waiting is over, I know the life history of the 5 nurses sat at the nurse station and what they are having for lunch! And action - I'm gowned - bum out of course, asked to put on knee high white stockings. Now not much of a scene - can't remember my feet being that far away - now in a sweat trying to pull them up hilarious - arse is hanging out and the nurse bless stands there waiting clicking her pen!

Launch up onto the bed and then greeted by a lady in surgical outfit ready to take me to theatre! Her hair is pushed up under surgical scarf which is bright colours and matches her personality! Big and bubbly - love her already. Run through the you are who you are checks. Out comes my consultant - Maria you sure about this - hell yes I say loudly! See ya soon and off she goes.

Out comes my anaesthetist and his hat is plain navy blue - umm slow, not so confident and rather boring - hat matches! We are ready for the off!

Welcome to the NHS

So I arrive at the hoipital as 11.45 as my time has been moved. I'm the only patient there ready for pm ops. I,ve just been rushed in running short on time and concerned that I didn,t really enjoy and savour my last cigarette !

Give Steve and Connor a massive kiss and cuddle tell them how much I love them without being emotional! So so hard but didn't want to show them how petrified I was!

So I'm sat by my bed with my bag which contains a new nightie! A nightie how funny this is as girlie as it gets for me!

Still at least the NHS have got rid of the itchie matted blankets and replaced them with pale green soft muslin stylie covers. 30 minutes I'm sat thinking OMG do I want this - do I understand why I'm having this - what if I die - and then feeling very alone, very very alone. This was the final end to a very long journal as I have had 16 miscarriages and enough was enough! It was the right decision!

The build up

Although I knew 6 months ago I was going to have the hysterectomy I never actually knew the date so was a bit of a rush only having 1 weeks notice for operation but decided that definately better that way as less time to worry!!

Spent a week running around like a looney making sure work was covered, family and friends were on standby and that the world could cope without me for 6 weeks - in your heart of hearts secretly you hope that it won't but realistically you know that it will!xx

Backtracking

Just thought it would be a good idea to document this for 2 reasons - one to help those going into the unknown and two to save my sanity.

So I am back tracking as I am now on day 5 after the op and wanted to start at the beginning giving all those interested an insight to how I am here today!

You see we all ask for others advice and know someone who has had a hysterectomy but I wanted to keep a daily diary xxxx