Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Danger he is going in!

I can't believe I'm actually out of the house - on the way to the hospital for a follow up appointment. I absolutley hate Princess Anne hospital! It's nothing but bad memories and pregnant chavs smoking their superkings outside the hospital entrance!

Still have lots of questions for my consultant and we are early for the appointment so Mr Harris and I sit and reminisce... for the past 6 years and 16 miscarriages down the line we have had quite an emotional journey and all shared with this hospital... and we start to laugh - which hurts! There was the time when I had to have an early pregnancy scan on the morning of my uncle's funeral so we park the car and for those that do not know the parking spaces are extremely tight at the hospital. I have the scan and they tell me that it looks unlikely that the pregnancy will not suceed - we leave in tears as we need to get to the funeral. Only to find that we can't get into the car either side due to the cars parked so close - Mr H has to climb through the back window of car - honda civic and him being him only opens the window and ends up with his feet stuck (they are a size 12). He eventually makes it but the shoes are wedge in the window whilst I'm crying from laughter and sadness at the same time.

There was also another time when we are asked to take the foetus to the hospital in a bag as they need to run tests. Steve thought it was best to lighten the situation by writing the date and name oin the bag which was all too much for the newly qualified young doctor especially as he had christianed this one as Mr Muscle. This one was 15 weeks old and had to stay in our fridge all weekend as there is no emergency cover for the weekends - all detailed on the bag!

We are now laughing hysterically in the car both looking at each other not knowing if we are crying from laughter or sadness but you know it doesn't matter because we are still smiling.

So as usual you are sat with all the mums to be in the central outpatients hub! Some are older mums to be, some are extremely young - you don't want to take away anyones happiness but this is just the worst place to be!

So in with the consultant and onto the bed - still legs shaved and wow look at my socks! He disappears - "oh" he mutters, "Ummm yes you still have a nasty infection" - he reappears - anoither course of antibiotics required. Mr H is now completely
lemon lipped and scarlett faced. Oh yes he explodes! This poor consultant! Still the information is now flowing freely and he explains that this should have been sorted a long while ago and that I should have had this particular antibiotic and that the GPs are equipped with the expertise etc etc. We leave and Mr H is standing very tall and ego boosted! I however am crumpled and in complete agony - not sure if the consultant has left his hard hat anywhere! Pharmacy and home to bed ..............

Sunday, 5 September 2010

In the deep deep dark of the night!

I give up with the doctors and sure that it is medically better for you to self diagnose and heal as we know our bodies better than any 10 minute GP appointment - we have had to look after them long enough.

Went to the Docs on Friday to discuss starting HRT which I have to wait until next week when I've been to the hospital and also to ask when I can go back to work.

Well after sitting there for 45 minutes which believe me is so uncomfortable - so I spend the whole time getting up and down due to the discomfort - should have taken a cushion - poor old dear! My name is flashed in lights above the door and an american style voice announces "Mar - i - a Harris Doctor Good-I-Son room 7" - these GPs are far too superior to be getting out of their leather bound chairs to call patience don't you know!

So I'm in the DOCs room and the sweat is pouring from every pore in my face - attractive - he asks what can I do for you - not sure I exclaim you asked me to come in! This just gets me so bloody annoyed the notes are in front of him on the screen and he had asked me back - its just so impersonal - no duty of care or individuality!

So he takes a few minutes to check his notes - "Ummm blood count very low - keep up the iron...... whens your hospital appointment?" - "Monday" I reply - Doc advises " I will give you some HRT but I'm not really sure which one is best and you can't start it until well next week - and do you want patches or tablets ? Best speak to your consultant on Monday!"

What a waste of time and the effort of having to get dressed - why ask me back to see him why not just ask me to come back but see a GP with knowledge! A waste of his time too - it's not difficult - all about knowing that the right resources are allocated to the areas!

So armed with another prescription I'm back on the way home - Doctors and Hosiptal are the only places Ive really been out to in the last 6 weeks - it pays to research things prior the event so that you won't be disappointed that you are not sunning yourself in Barbados and feeling better than you've ever felt before! I feel more like Mrs Doubtfire!

Still hopefully get more info from the hospital on Monday - the aftercare from this op is absolutely appalling - no info which means you are led by other peoples experiences!

So my experience at post op 7 weeks is that you cant sit down for long as it feels like you are sitting on a fence post and lying down is the best option but of course this leads to you constantly having tangled hair on the back of your head and a wider butt than ever before and overdosing on Jeremy Kyle - that's if you are awake in time! Also you end up having to change your PJs a couple of times in the night due to overactive sweat glands which leaves you looking like you've been overdosing in a sauna - all so attractive so glad its at night so the landing light is now off at all times - lol! Still have made progress as my affair has moved between the bed and the sofa!

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Back on the right road

Apparently I'm now at week 3 stage even though its been 7 weeks if that makes sense. I'm actually starting to feel better - still as tired but the wings requirement is less frequent after a trip to the hospital.

I actually went out today for a little walk with Mr Harris as the weather was so nice - he reckoned it was like taking his mum out for the day! Cheek of it! It's amazing how things change so quickly - we walked passed a clothes shop and the last time I looked it was all swimming costumes and sun hats - now it's coats and woollie pullies!

I can tell I'm healing inside now as everything feels tight - you know when you cut yourself and it starts to dry out - well it's the same sort of thing. My sleep pattern is totally shot - still in bagpuss mode! Have an appointment on Friday to check up with the Docs and discuss further and hopefully now I'm healing I can start the HRT and then get back to work. I was talking to Steve the other night and said I didn't realise how poorly I'd been until I actually thought about work. This was the first time in many weeks which is very unlike me. In fact I had thought about nothing at all for weeks and it just shows how easily anyone can remove themselves from society and hide away!

Anyway the sooner I get back into life the better - I decided that I wanted to make a cake so Mr H got out the bowls and ingredients so all I had to do was mix and tell him when to get it out of the oven. So flour, butter, sugar in the bowl and he left a carrier bag on the side for me to put the egg shells in so no reaching etc. I cracked the eggs and started the electric mixer. Steve came over and asked what I was doing - errr dumb making a cake I replied but it's really dry for some reason. Steve was referring to the fact that I had cracked the eggs into the carrier bag and then put the shells in there too - you see it is just so easy to loose your train of thought so quickly when you haven't had to think about anything for some time!

Steve has been offered a 9 month consultancy in Bournemouth which is brilliant and Connor starts his new college on Friday - nice reality check!

Connor also passed his English which he had to retake which he is really chuffed with and celebrated by having his windows tinted on his little half car! When he takes his mates out in it they look like the "inbetweeners" which is really funny especially as they are all 6 feet tall and he only comes in at 5 feet 4!

So hopefully the worst has passed and we can all get back to noraml - what ever normal is!

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Only me!

Things just aren't getting any easier - still heavily invested in Bodyform so another trip to the Doctors - well another new face at the surgery and the receptionists all know my first name now! Have you ever noticed that they all have the same hairstyle and colour! They are all styled by M&S too!

New doctor and she is so young - think she is newly qualified as she seems so timid and uneasy with the arrival of Mr and Mrs H! Talk through with her that I am not feeling any better and still roller blading so she advises quietly that she needs me up on the bed for an examination! Easy - not - its so high and there is no step in sight - anyway after stripping off and a most indignant climb I'm in position!

She has drawn all the curtains around me and I can hear her rustling around talking herself through her checklist of implements required minus a head lamp of course.

You can tell she is nervous as she shakily tells me that she will be using a speculum which may be uncomfortable. She gets the swabs that she needs and as she is collecting up her tools of the trade I cough - how embrassing - the speculum is now at the end of the bed and she is completely out of her comfort zone and Mr H is hyperventilating! Only me!

She also tells me that I am not allowed to start HRT until the infection has cleared - I'm sure that is not true and she just wanted us out of her room!

She calls the hospital and they will call me direct to go back in so another course of different antibiotics and now waiting for a call from the hospital! She advises me that this is not normal as I would have been fine if I did not have the infection or granulation - again only me!

Well I upset Steve today - he didn't get his job - he has several other interviews lined up so fingers crossed! I told him that there would definately be a vacancy at MI6 - he told me that I should be shot for being so sick! I thought it was quite funny.

The hospital called and I have an appointment for this Friday - hopefully this could put me on the right road! I mean by now I should be worn out from recouperation shopping trips etc not waddling around the same four walls and a couple of trips to half of Asda!

However I am feeling better in myself despite (head in gear) all these little challenges!

Saturday, 21 August 2010

Care in the Community

Have been very poorly the last few days - just for a change - doctor called and need to go see him on Tuesday as I have upped my shares in Rollerblading and the blood count has dropped extremely low which accounts for the affair with the kingsize snuggle! One minute I'm shivering and the next I am soaking from over heating!

Stevo had an interview in Petersfield yesterday and asked if I would go with him and that he would go the scenic route as I should get out of the house! I agreed - well this was strange having to get up, think about what to wear and make myself presentable all to a time scale!

The scenic route led to finding every pothole in Hampshire which felt like we were off roading - I spent 35 minutes holding my stomach, saying ouch and repeatedly asking are we there yet! This didn't actually help with his nerves either :)!

We made it to the town centre car park! Steve parked up and off he went to his interview leaving me in the car! Well I couldn't get out as he had parked so close to bike railings that my door wouldn't open - oh well I thought its raining anyway!

Thank goodness I didn't have to get out - there they were - cerise fluffy slippers on my size 6's. I started to chuckle thinking that just shows you how in a marriage you can just get too damn complacent! Steve had not even noticed and they are the brightest pink ever! My chuckling had been noticed by an old couple who gave me the "look at the nutter in the car" look and then the "Ah is such a shame she's not that old look!"

Still that took 20 minutes away. Down with the visor vanity mirror - it's so close - should have brought the tweezers! Thought I would check out the grey hair situation - what the hell - one eye naked! The other fully mascarered with a wonky eye liner! Oh dear I'm slightly out of practice! Now do I need to concentrate more and start writing checklists for normal daily tasks or do I need a carer!

Steve's interview went well and they have asked him back for a second - best leave him to do this one on his own!

I can't wait to start feeling better - today I haven't even got dressed and then ended up in so much pain from laughing at Steve slip up straight on his back on the wet decking - it was so funny and the marks left on his t-shirt look like tyre tracks - it was just so funny - he thought no-one was watching but I had just walked into the kitchen just in time to witness! He is now walking around like a bell ringer!

Connor is back from Alton Towers and the most you get out of him is "It was sick!" - welcome to the Harris household!

Wednesday, 18 August 2010


So you were all thinking - she's gone on holiday whilst being off sick - well sorry to disappoint you all but I'm having an affair - with my new bed!

The most stressful part of my days since Friday has been what PJs to wear! I feel like bagpuss in a car accident, I look like Pauline Quirke and I smell like - well you've all watched life of grime! Still on the third and final set of anti-biotics and if no change then back into hospital for me! Apparently when you heal inside it all goes a bit granular, then crystalises and heals - well Ive over caramalised and am liquifying like a load of old toffee! I will find out beginning of next week if I need to go back in and be cauterized - that to me sounds like branding some old cow!

Will keep you posted!

Mr H has decided that since the Op I seem to have worn the trousers - I gentley reminded him that actually that is the only thing that hasn't changed!

Mum and Dad are back from Lyme for a fleeting visit to check that I haven't been resculpting the garden etc - Did you know that my Mum even irons pants! What is that all about - she irons MY pants now too - bet she has to put them over the end of the ironing board!

So they will rule our lives for the next few days until the weather changes again and they will be off back to Lyme Regis to further exhaust their national trust membership and free binoculars!

Had a visit from Ads and Gavin - which was great - they are absolutley hilarious together and Gavin hugged me too hard when he left which left me in agony!

I have decided that as my pre-conceived idea of have the op - 2 weeks to recover - 4 weeks shopping and socialising has completely been quashed that I would start up the campaign of "I hate Doctors Receptionists!" Who do they think they are - you call press the correct option for an appointment and then they say if you want a same day appointment it is classed as an emergency! But I'm not dying but need to see the doctor sooner rather than later and then they proceed to ask what's wrong - I mean have they had medical training??? Did they study for 6 years? Or the other annoying thing is you call press the relevant option the receptionist tells you to redial and select a different option and then you get the same bloody woman! And another thing they all have the same haircut!

Wow I feel much better already lol!

So basically I'm no further forward now than I was 5 weeks ago other than my hair is more grey and I'm sleeping like some hibernating bear!

Friday, 13 August 2010

How to look good naked!

The more tablets and still no change. Have another appointment at the doctors beginning of next week as the "wings" side of this is not easing at all but I am feeling much better in myself and back in a position whereby I can be snappy at Mr Harris so this is what I call progress!

Reckon I have shares in the local pharmacy!

Yesterday had a great meals on wheels delivery from Clarebell - home made lasagne, garlic bread, salad with a splash of balsamic - was like a rendition of come dine with me - I give 9 points - lost 1 point as no pudding!! Had a real heart to heart with Clarebell - she just makes me smile and the future for her is bright which she sincerely deserves xxx

Still hot flushing on a regular basis and feeling tired but this is probably something to do with the fact that I've been doing nothing at all and it is a real effort to pause Jeremy Kyle if the phone rings or start shouting at the TV because what were ITV thinking about recruiting Eamon Holmes for This Morning - it's all going downhill especially as Loose Women are all on summer holiday - did they not know that I am sat at home completely bored out of my brains in between my regular bag puss moments!

Feeling well this morning I was up and dressed early as I wanted to support Steve as he went to employment office - well I lasted 20 minutes in there - not only could I not take the pain anymore but was getting extremely angry! As you walk in there are 3 staffed podiums and they are busy chatting - once they have finished chatting one of them directs you to the correct place. Stevo was direct across the room to a long queue - only one desk open but 7 other staff chatting! There were efficencies to be made here instantly! Steve was eventually seen and then had to be interviewed upstairs - entry to this was via 5 security guards who were quite happy to rip every person through their heavily guarded door - more efficiencies to be made. I was not allowed to accompany Steve so had to wait downstairs and by now had big regrets as I was in agony - I asked one of the welcoming committee if there was a chair available - "No" was the response - I explained why I needed to sit and he told me he couldn't help - I then went to the car and sat and waited - Upon reflection I smiled at how lucky I was - I have touch wood never experienced anything like it before and don't ever want to - mind you have of them signing on were in their designer trainers and playing on their iphones and yet no questions were asked - what sort of society do we live in!

Well after the over exertion straight home and to bed - the new bed - not quite sure if its the bed for us but at least I can quite easily roll out rather than climb out! And what a treat today I decided to let my legs get some well deserved fresh air and stripped them naked of the glorious stockings for the whole afternoon - I could almost hear them sigh!